See If I Care
by CreativelyAloof
Summary: Draco Malfoy was not about to fight for the affections of Pansy Parkinson. But when she leaves him a few months before graduation, he may have no other choice when he realizes how lonely his life is without her. [Draco/Pansy, among other pairings] - Individual playlists in the first chapter!
1. Playlists

**Hello readers!**

**I love making playlists while I write, so here is what I imagine would be Pansy's + Draco's favorite songs for this story. Pansy channeling her inner badass, independent woman looking love while Draco slowly realizes how much he needs her in his life.**

**Warning: Some of them are really sad and will get you in your break-up feels -**

**I may add more songs later, but I think ten each is enough right now.**

**Hope you enjoy! x**

* * *

**Pansy's Playlist:**

1\. _In My Head_ – Ariana Grande

2\. _Good as Hell_ – Lizzo

3\. _Gangsta_ – Kehlani

4\. _High Heels._ \- JoJo

5\. _Motherlove_ – Bea Miller

6\. _Love Me Harder_ – Ariana Grande

7._ Tie Me Down_ (with Elley Duhe) – Gryffin

8\. _Tequilawine_ – Olivia O' Brien

9\. _Sue Me_ – Sabrina Carpenter

10\. _Terrified_ – Terror Jr

* * *

**Draco's Playlist:**

1\. _Chateau_ \- blackbear

2\. _Get Stoned_ \- Hinder

3._ Do I Wanna Know?_ \- Arctic Monkeys

4\. _OK _(Spotify Version) - Robin Schulz

5\. _Cocoa Butter Kisses_ \- Chance the Rapper

6\. _Sucker_ \- Jonas Brothers

7\. _Marijuana Breath_ \- Adam Jensen

8\. _Our Time Together_ (feat. Marie Elizabeth) - Ivan B

9\. _Take This Ride_ \- Vigiland

10\. _I Don't Care_ (with Justin Bieber) - Ed Sheeran


	2. It's Over

**Hello readers!**

**This is my first story on this site. I know Draco/Pansy pairings aren't necessarily popular, but I love them together so much (I guess more so the version they've transformed into rather than the version of them from the books/movies.)**

**Anyway, this story's main shipping will be Draco/Pansy, however, it will also feature other pairings. I'm thinking maybe Draco/Hermione at some point, and Pansy/Ron or Pansy/Theo - but we'll see!**

**_This story is fluid_.**

**What that means is I don't really have a general direction of where it will go or how it will end up, I just got the idea and really wanted to write it - so really, anything can happen! :D**

**This story, for now, is rated T. It may change later to M or something because I am really awful at not swearing or having some kind of small sexual interaction, but I will give you guys an advanced notice before then.**

**Make sure to favorite + comment if you enjoy what you're reading! I would love to get to know some other Dransy shippers!**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

_Chapter One: It's Over_

* * *

"It's over."

Tension settled into the air. "What?"

"We're _finished_!" She turned on him with such speed that he nearly grabbed for his wand. Her dark eyes dazzled in the light of the nearby fireplace with impatience and anger.

It started to dawn on him what she meant, and he clenched his teeth tight together. "I don't understand." He spat out.

"Of course you don't." Pansy looked at him, and the longing and love that had always been in her eyes were nowhere to be found. "You're too busy caught up in Draco Land to notice anything."

"I notice things." He didn't know why he was fighting back. Merlin knows he'd been trying to get rid of her since fourth year. He should be celebrating his sudden and unexpected victory. But that's the thing. It was _so_ sudden and unexpected. Shouldn't he have known it was coming long before it actually happened? Shouldn't he have felt her growing disinterest in him? No, because yesterday they were perfectly normal. Weren't they? "What's got you all worked up tonight?"

"If you noticed things, then you'd know." Pansy rolled her eyes at him and let out an exaggerated sigh. "Why do I even bother with you?"

Draco glared at her. He was used to their fights – it was a daily occurrence for them, like having breakfast or drinking water. He never knew when it was going to strike, but it always did at some point. Tonight, it was right before dinner. The worst time to fight with him, in his opinion, as he had even less patience for her when he was hungry. "Can we talk about this later?"

"There won't be a later." Pansy barked impatiently at him. "I told you, we're done."

He shifted on his feet and considered his next words carefully. The quicker this exchange was over, the faster he could go to the Great Hall and eat. "Fine." He waved a hand dismissively towards the door to the common room. "See if I care."

"Fine." Pansy shot back. She turned on the freshly buffed heels of her suede mary janes and, with a forceful whip of her perfectly curled raven hair, she disappeared from the room without a backward glance.

This abrupt departure unsettled him in a way he was not prepared for. This was not their normal procedure. Pansy never left when he suggested she should. She always clung around and fought him for hours on end; she refused to give up, partly because she loved him, he assumed, and partly because she was too stubborn to let him win, he also assumed. But now she just up and left at the first chance she got?

"Fine!" He yelled at the closed portrait hole, knowing she was already well out of earshot. His outburst startled a table of first years who had been diligently pretending they couldn't hear their older housemates fighting.

What was he supposed to do now? He continued to shift restlessly. He was all fired up and he wanted something to yell at. Something that would fight back.

"Oi, Malfoy."

Draco turned and caught sight of Blaise coming up from the boy's dormitory.

"Are you going to dinner?"

He clenched his fist into a tight ball before unfurling his long fingers a second later. He didn't like this. Having all this pent-up energy and no way to get rid of it. "Sure." He managed to say as calmly as he could. Pansy would sneak into his dorm after hours that night and they'd continue to fight about it then, he was sure of it.

With that comforting thought in mind, he followed Blaise out of the common room.

"Quidditch starts soon," Blaise started conversationally as they made their way through the corridors of the dungeons.

He could sense Blaise's hesitation to bring up the topic, but it had to be discussed sooner or later. He was certain that he'd be appointed Slytherin's captain by his seventh year and yet he had been left out in the cold like some mangy mutt. Hadn't it been _his_ father who had bought the team new brooms? _His_ father who had upgraded their uniforms? He ran a hand through his blond locks in frustration. "I don't even know who the new captain is." He scoffed at this. "Probably hiding from me because whoever it is knows that I'm the one who deserved the position."

Blaise said nothing, as he usually did in these situations when Draco needed to rant about something or another; usually Quidditch, Pansy, or Harry Potter. He was more of a listener than an advice-giver. Something Draco quickly noticed when they first met at the tender age of seven and was a big deciding factor when he made the decision to befriend him.

It wasn't until they were passing over the threshold of the Great Hall's double doors that Draco's pace slowed in the slightest. His eyes moved up and down the Slytherin table, looking for one person in particular.

And there she was. A spiral of her curled hair wrapped tightly around her freshly manicured fingertips. She sat next to Marcus Flint, the smarmy bastard, and laughed at something he said. Draco knew this was just to spit him because Marcus Flint has never said anything funny in the six years that Draco has known him.

All his pent-up anger was starting to spill over.

"There's Pansy," Blaise said, as though Draco had not already spotted her. He started down the side of the table and Draco had no choice but to follow him.

He tried to shake the feeling of pending doom as they drew closer. Pansy's dark eyes caught sight of them coming her way and the smile on her painted lips began to fade until it had settled into a scowl. Draco broke eye contact with her and went to sit down when her hand slammed down onto the table. The move effectively stopped him in his tracks.

"This seat is taken." Her voice sounded taut and distant. She wasn't being cute.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers again and he was surprised he didn't instantly turn to stone. She was looking at him with a piercing gaze of cold indifference. The conversations around them seemed to have melted away and those sitting closest to them tried their hardest not to give any of them eye contact.

"This is where I always sit," Draco said, dumbfounded. What was happening here? First their short-lived fight and now he was being kicked out of his own seat? He always sat next to Pansy, ever since their first year at Hogwarts.

"Tough." She lifted her hand from the tabletop and turned back to Marcus as though nothing had happened.

Draco's cheeks felt hot with rage. "Who are you saving it for then? And don't bother lying because I'll know - "

Pansy whipped back around to look at him. "Anyone but you. Now _go_."

He stared her down and the friction in the air seemed to multiply. She hadn't even bothered to make up a lie. Plain and simple; she didn't want him around her. At all. This was too bizarre. Something about the way her voice never raised even though she was so obviously yelling at him made the hairs on his arms prickle uncomfortably. She was throwing him away, like a piece of trash or a broken toy, and she wasn't even batting an eye about it.

In a spontaneous act of defiance, he lifted his foot and placed it on the bench beside her. She turned away from him and stared hard at her plate, but he knew she was watching him out of the corner of her eye; daring him to sit down. "I always sit here." He said again, much more confidently this time. "If it's going to be a problem for you, then _you_ can move." With that, he slid down and sat himself where his foot had just been.

Pansy's hands curled into tight fists and sat shaking by her plate. Still, she refused to look at him. On her other side, Marcus looked uneasy as he tried to appear busy by pouring himself a goblet of pumpkin juice.

Draco turned to Blaise, who looked just as pained by this public display of insubordination as Marcus did. "Come on," he said. "Sit down."

"Dude, I really don't want to," Blaise said. He glanced at Pansy hesitantly. "We can find somewhere else to - "

"Blaise. Sit. _Now_." Draco spat. He was so close to winning this. Pansy would not win this round, not after she just stormed out of the common room like that.

Blaise hesitated before he sighed and sat himself down next to Draco, who instantly felt the thrill of winning course through him at high speeds. Or was it adrenaline to see what Pansy would do next?

"See? Everyone can sit." Draco stated matter-of-factly. A long stretch of silence met his remark. Everyone around them had either scooted away or had gotten up and left. Marcus looked like he wanted nothing more than to run away as he munched anxiously on a piece of bread. Just as Draco reached over to grab the bowl of shredded chicken in the middle of the table, Pansy grabbed her plate and tossed what was left of her dinner into his lap. He jerked backward in shock, but it's hard to escape a bench quickly without falling out of it.

"You're such an arse," Pansy said with a wobble in her throat. She grabbed her bag and got up before she marched away.

Draco stared down at the mess on his lap. He tried to gauge his own emotions, but found they were not what he expected them to be. He wasn't angry or annoyed with her at all. This thought disturbed him as he reached out for Pansy's discarded plate and brushed the bulk of the mess off the front of his robes.

"Well, that was…" Blaise paused with his goblet just short of touching his lips as he sought out the right word. "Interesting." He finally settled on.

* * *

The night wore on later and later. The ceiling of the boy's dormitory was completely cast in shadows when Draco was forced to come to the conclusion that he would not be seeing Pansy again for the rest of the night.

It wasn't like he had been waiting up for her or anything, but she didn't even come by to say goodnight. His stomach churned in a way he wasn't used to, and he was forced to admit that whatever Pansy had been yelling about was really happening. They were over. Pansy Parkinson had broken up with him. Maybe for good this time.

He sank deeper into his pillows and tried his hardest to fall asleep, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking. Pansy Parkinson had broken up with him. And what's worse, she might have had every right to. Was he feeling… guilty?

No. Pansy was a big girl, she could take care of herself, she always has. She's a woman with incredibly high resiliency; he could scream at her for hours and at the end of the night she'd still creep down to the boy's dormitory and kiss him goodnight. She could handle his agitated mood-swings. And now that they weren't together, who was he going to fight with? Who was going to corral him back down when something got him riled up?

He shuffled his pillows around in frustration and tried to get comfortable. He would just have to get her back, plain and simple. He'd tell her he was sorry, they'd make up, and all would be right in the world, he was sure of it.

"Oi. Malfoy. Just bloody laydown and stay still would you?" A voice called out from the darkness. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

Draco rolled his eyes and punched his pillows a few more times just to cause whoever it was a bit more grief before he settled in for the night.

* * *

The only time Draco Malfoy ever stirred out of bed a minute before he had to was for Quidditch. So he understood the look of shock that washed over people's faces when they came out of the dormitories and found him fully clothed and ready for the day, perched on the arm of a couch and staring intently at the girl's dormitory.

He didn't know what had come over him, but he had a terrible time sleeping last night. He chalked it up to Pansy's sudden disappearance from his life and knew he had to make amends – even if he didn't think he had done anything wrong. He hadn't treated her any differently yesterday than he did when they first met when they were children. How could he have possibly done anything wrong?

She was one of the first ones to come up the stairs, no doubt in an attempt to avoid running into him. His eyes narrowed onto his target before he pushed himself to his feet and marched over to her. He stopped in front of her and she came to an abrupt halt. For a moment a look of surprise crossed her features before they were quickly covered up with that cold stare he was not used to seeing from her.

"Yes?" She asked. One of her eyebrows shot up quizzically.

Draco hesitated. A part of him wanted to let her walk away; to finally be done with her and live his life freely without her hands constantly attached to his arm. But another part of him felt hollow. A small part. The smallest part imaginable. Still, it wasn't like Pansy had been a complete menace while they were dating. She always brought extra snacks to class and shared with him, and dotted after him when he wasn't feeling good; she would even make him her mom's homemade Sick Soup, with a splash of some unknown potion in it that made him feel better instantly from using it.

"I have to go to breakfast now." Pansy interrupted his train of thought and tried to slip past him.

His hand shot out to grab her sleeve without his consent. He snatched it away quickly, but the motion was enough to stop her in her tracks again, thank Merlin. "When are you going to stop avoiding me?" He asked pointedly.

Pansy blinked at him. She gripped her bag tighter in her hand and glanced around the room to ensure they were out of earshot from everyone else. Thankfully, most of the Slytherins liked to stay dormant until much later in the day. "I don't know." She finally said with a little shrug. "I guess whenever it's not painful to be around you."

"It's not painful to be around me." Draco fought back. Pansy looked at him with… was that pity? _She_ was pitying _him_?

"Yes, Draco, it is. It's _exhausting_ being around you. I just," Tears had begun to gather in her eyes. "I just can't do it anymore."

He stared at her, feeling completely dumbfounded. Like he'd just been slapped across the face. Here he was thinking she was the annoying one just to find out she thought the same way about him. Didn't in some way that mean they were right for each other? A glare overcame him. Fine. If she wanted it to be that way, then it will be. Draco Malfoy was not about to fight for the affections of Pansy Parkinson. "Fine. Whatever." He grumbled, but he couldn't force himself to move.

Pansy's little hand reached out and touched his elbow. "I'm sorry." She said.

And just like that, she was gone again. Turned on her heels and walked out of the common room. He watched her leave and for some reason, the anger he kept expecting to show up grew further and further away.

What was he supposed to do without her?

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts! :D**

**Already working on chapter two so make sure to follow along so you know when I post!**


	3. Excruciating

**Hello readers!**

**Chapter two is here! A little more world-building of Draco's character, a little more frustrating him for the fun of it. I've been plotting over the last few days and have a few good scenarios I came up with that I can't wait to start writing.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Make sure to leave a comment if you want, and follow along to read more!**

* * *

_Chapter Two: Excruciating_

* * *

The day felt off. And not in a good way.

For the first time since his first year at Hogwarts, Draco didn't know where to sit in potions class. He had always sat next to Pansy, eating the snacks she brought and copying her notes when he was too lazy to take his own. It had been a real jolt when he had wandered into the potions classroom to find his seat taken by Millicent Bulstrode.

He watched them from a few tables over; uncomfortable in his new chair. They whispered about things he couldn't hear and laughed into their hands about things he wasn't privy to know. Why was this bothering him so much? So what if Pansy found someone else to whisper nonsense to during class? He had never really cared much for her gossip and usually tuned her out anyway. But she was acting so… normal. Her face was clear of any tears or swelling. She laughed easily and talked freely, as though she weren't aware of him staring at her. As though she didn't care.

"So," Blaise said casually as he stirred their ingredients. "Are we going to talk about it?"

Draco turned his eyes back to his book. "Talk about what?" He answered sharply.

"The giant Hippogriff in the room." Blaise shot back just as fast.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Draco tried to deny it, even when he knew it was obvious. Especially after the spectacle he had made in the Great Hall last night.

"Come off it," Blaise rolled his eyes. "You and Pansy are clearly going through something."

"No we're not." Draco tried to say as defiantly as he could.

"I thought you hated having her around all the time."

"I really don't want to talk about this," Draco said angrily.

"Psst."

Both of them jumped and turned to look over their shoulders at the table behind them. _Weasel-bee_. Of course.

"Having girlfriend troubles Malfoy?" Weasley's eyes practically shone with excitement at this news.

Draco sneered at him. "At least I have a girlfriend Weasel-bee. If you'd take your head out of Potter's arse, maybe you'd be able to have one too."

Blaise snickered at this as he continued to cut up something long and slimy.

Weasley's face turned bright red at this jab. "Probably finally got it through her thick skull was a tosser you are." He mumbled before he turned back to his work.

Draco's hands clenched at this. He felt so angry. So indescribably angry. And the worse part of it was that he didn't know _why_. Perhaps it was merely his hatred for change. Things had been comfortable before. He always had a routine and he could always count on certain things to happen during the day. Like notes in a class he wasn't paying attention to. Or some god damn snacks.

"Mr. Malfoy." Snape's cold tone brought Draco back to the present.

A light round of chuckles echoed around the room and Draco felt his cheeks redden with embarrassment. Thankfully, being Snape's favorite came with some perks, for that was the only humiliation he would receive for not paying attention. Were it Weasley or Potter who had been dozing off, they surely would have faced much more ridicule.

"So, what are you going to do?" Blaise whispered.

"Do about what?" Draco grumbled. He rested his chin on his arms in defeat. This day was quite possibly the longest day in existence.

"About Pansy."

"Nothing. She doesn't want to be together. I don't either."

This made Blaise chuckle again. "Sure."

Draco lifted his head and looked at him. "I don't."

Blaise gave him a side-eye like he didn't believe him. "Of course. But just say you did."

"But I don't. I don't care what she does. She could start dating Potter for all I care." Even though he was the one that said it, the joke still stung in a way he hadn't expected. Blaise said nothing and continued to stir their cauldron, but Draco's mind had started to spiral down a rabbit hole he hadn't even known was there. What if Pansy started dating somebody else? How was Draco meant to cope with something like that? And who would it be? Definitely not Potter or Marcus Flint. But then who?

Draco found himself staring about the room, eyeing the other guys around him. Surely there would be no one here who could compare to him. Perhaps he wasn't the strongest, but Pansy had never liked that much. Or had she merely lied to him to satiate his ego?

All of these questions started to burn a hole in his head. It was too much. She couldn't date anyone, she just couldn't. She would just have to wait until they graduated if she really wanted to date someone else. He couldn't stand feeling this… insecurity.

"But you know, if it were me," Blaise suddenly spoke again, dragging Draco out of his tormented thoughts. "I would be trying to win her back right about now."

"What?" Draco asked. He had never tried to 'win' anyone over before. Most people tended not to like him, but he chalked that up to them being jealous of his heritage or his money or his looks. "How would you even do that?"

Blaise looked at him like he was a child. "You know, make more of an effort?"

Draco blinked at him.

Blaise sighed. "You have to put her needs before yours. Be nicer, if you can."

Draco glared at him. "I'm perfectly nice."

Blaise raised an eyebrow.

"When I want to be." Draco ended.

"Well, you're gonna want to be a lot more often from now on."

Draco shook his head. "Pansy doesn't want nice. She knows how I am. She'll know I'm faking it."

"Then don't fake it."

Draco made a face at this but said nothing as he rested his chin on his arms again. Don't fake being nice? It wasn't like the concept of 'nice' was new to him or anything, but how was being 'nice' going to bring Pansy back? If he even wanted her back at all! Draco shook his head.

"Just think about it, alright?" Blaise said as he finished up with their potion.

"Whatever," Draco muttered before he pushed his face into the crook of his elbow to shut out the world. Somehow, he could still pick out Pansy's laugh over the bubbling of their cauldron.

* * *

It came to him at lunch. His marvelous idea. It was genius, truly. Inspiring.

"I know what to do." He said confidently.

Blaise looked at him skeptically. "Do you?"

"I do." He nodded.

Another pause. "I don't think you do."

"I have rounds with Pansy tonight. I can fix everything then."

Blaise said nothing for a while before he started to shake his head. "I don't think that'll work."

Draco glared at him. His confidence in his plan had already started to waiver. "What do you mean? We have all night to reconcile or whatever."

"The fact that you just added 'or whatever' to the end of that sentence just proves that this won't work." Blaise said.

"I liked it better when you didn't offer advice." Draco spat.

"I liked it better when you had Pansy to cling to instead of me," Blaise said. "But you don't hear me complaining."

"I didn't cling to Pansy, she clung to me."

Blaise laughed into his pumpkin juice at this.

"What?" Draco asked angrily.

Blaise sighed and pushed his plate away before he turned to look at him. "Look Draco, I understand you have this whole reputation to uphold, I really do. We've all got one. Everyone in this house has some type of role they play to keep up appearances. But you're bordering on delusional here."

"I'm not delusional," Draco argued. "I wasn't attached to Pansy. She was attached to me."

"You guys were attached to each other, okay?" Blaise said. "Whether you're going to say it out loud or not, you were attached to her as much as she was attached to you. Save it!" He said, just as Draco had opened his mouth to argue back. "I really don't care about the technicalities. The point of the matter is, you would not be spending this much time with me if you were comfortable with Pansy splitting up with you, and that's the truth. Trust me, I would love if it you would go away more, but you aren't, and you can't. You need someone to always be around you, Malfoy. That's just who you are. You can't be alone."

Draco mulled this over in his head. He didn't like what Blaise was saying, and he hated it even more that it made sense. The uncomfortable feeling he had that lingered around him was only ever satiated when he was around Blaise or someone similar. Had he, in the past seven years, become attached to Pansy? True, they had sat next to each other in every class they had together, and they always ate their meals together and hung out in the common room. But he would do that with anybody.

"Face it, Malfoy," Blaise continued when it was obvious that Draco wasn't going to respond. "You're afraid to be lonely."

Draco glared at him. "I'm not afraid. I just… don't… like it."

Blaise shrugged. "Whatever. But you have to figure this thing out with Pansy. I can't stand having you around all the time."

Draco pursed his lips together. Why was everyone being so vocal and honest lately? "Can you stop talking again?"

Blaise laughed at this and went back to eating his lunch. "Gladly."

* * *

Draco stood in the common room and stared at the entrance to the girl's dormitory for the second time that day, waiting for Pansy to come up so they could do their rounds. The thought of meeting up with her for anything other than a social visit made him antsy and he hated it. He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, growing more and more agitated the longer he waited. Blaise's words echoed in the back of his head and he grew even more frustrated.

"Be nice," he grumbled to himself before he snorted and rolled his eyes. "I can be nice."

"You shouldn't talk to yourself. People will think you're losing it."

Draco jumped and turned towards the portrait hole where Pansy had just entered from. Her sudden appearance jumbled his thoughts and he stood, gaping at her with nothing to say.

She hesitated under his gaze before she dropped her bag onto the couch. "Okay then. Are you ready to go?" She wasn't meeting his eyes.

"Where were you?" He asked. He couldn't help it. His mind was already swirling with endless possibilities. "I thought you were in your dorm."

Pansy glanced at him before she turned back to rummaging through her bag. "I was doing homework."

"With who?" Draco winced as soon as the question left his lips. He shouldn't even care who she did homework with.

She pulled her wand from her bag and placed it in her pocket before she turned back to him. "With Millicent."

"Oh." Draco felt his muscles relax. "How… is she?"

Pansy raised an eyebrow at him. "She's fine. Why?"

"I was just… wondering." He wanted to beat himself senseless. Being nice didn't mean he had to be this awkward. What was wrong with him? "Are you ready to go?" He tossed her question back at her.

"Uh, sure," Pansy said before she started towards the portrait hole. Draco had no choice but to follow her.

They walked in complete silence next to each other as they ascended to the third floor. Draco fiddled with his wand in his pocket as they walked. He tried to come up with something to say, but everything he thought of sounded stupid and nothing stuck. This unnerved him. He was not used to being at a loss for words. Especially not with someone he had spent nearly every day with for the past seven or more years.

"I can ask McGonagall if we can have different patrol partners." Pansy suddenly broke the silence.

Draco blinked at this. "What?" He asked dumbly. She wanted a different partner?

Pansy shrugged. "I just thought… with everything going on, maybe it'd be best."

He felt like his insides were panicking. No, this was not how this was supposed to go. They were supposed to reconcile or whatever. She wasn't supposed to offer up the opportunity for a different partner. If he told her he didn't want one, then she'd know he was struggling with their break-up. And she couldn't know that. She just couldn't. But if he said yes, then the odds of them interacting ever again would collapse. And then how was he supposed to reconcile them? Or whatever.

"Draco?" Pansy looked at him with furrowed brows. "What do you think?"

He shrugged and tried to appear as casual as he could. "I don't see why our relationship status has to affect the Prefects scheduling patrols." Would she buy that?

She looked at him quizzically. "Since when do you care about the Prefects schedules?"

_Abort_. _Abort_. "I don't." Draco hurried to say. "It… just seems like a lot of work for nothing." He could feel her staring at him and he tried his best not to crack under her gaze.

"Okay," she said slowly. "We'll just… stay partners then."

"Okay." He said curtly.

Silence engulfed them again as they strutted along the parameters of the third floor. Their patrols used to be filled with endless hours of talking and jokes. Draco hadn't realized how funny he had found Pansy's jokes to be until they were suddenly gone. He wanted nothing more than for things to go back to how they used to be.

He knew what he had to do. He had to take Blaise's advice, as annoying and horrible as it was. He had to try and be nice, otherwise, she was just going to keep getting further and further away from him.

He had a new plan.

He would fix whatever was broken with them, they'd date until they graduated and then if they really wanted to split up, they would. He didn't need her around. He just didn't want to spend some of his last months in school alone.

"So," he started; testing the waters. "How was your day?"

Pansy looked at him like he had just asked her to crawl inside a Hippogriff. But never-the-less, she answered. "It was… fine."

Draco nodded. "What did you, ahm, do?" Dear Merlin, this was excruciating. This is why Draco never bothered with small talk. What the bloody hell were you meant to say to each other?

"Uh, nothing. Just went to class." A moment of silence settled between them before she rushed on. "I saw the Ravenclaw team practice today."

Draco looked at her. "Why?" He asked, feeling panicky again.

"Millicent's boyfriend is in Ravenclaw. You know that."

"Right." Draco nodded. "Right." His clenched and unclenched his fists several times. Was he sweating?

"They're looking pretty good. The team. You might have some competition this year."

"Uh-huh."

Silence engulfed them again. Excruciating. He wanted nothing more than to ask her what she wanted. What did she want from him? What was he meant to be doing to make this all of this end? She must be waiting for something. Was he meant to apologize for something? Were they meant to fight? He didn't _understand_.

"How was your day?" Pansy asked.

Draco struggled to answer this. In reality, his day had been one of the worst days he's had in a long time. He had felt so distracted and frustrated the whole time. But he couldn't tell her that. Not after her day had been fine. "It was okay." It almost slipped out. _I missed you at lunch_. He pursed his lips together forcefully until the thought passed.

"That's good." Pansy said. They made their third trip around the halls.

"I didn't have any snacks in Transfiguration." He blurted out.

"Oh, yeah." This brought a smile to Pansy's lips.

He had not been expecting such a gesture, but he perked up at the sight of it.

"Sorry. Maybe Blaise can bring something in. He's in that class, right?"

Draco felt himself deflate just as quickly as he had perked up. "Right, yeah. Maybe." Excruciating.

They continued their patrol in silence. Every now and then Draco would awkwardly try to ask something about her, but the conversation never lasted long, and they were forced to succumb to silence again. This was so out of the norm that Draco was beginning to think he had stepped into his own personal purgatory when the clock struck eleven, effectively bringing their patrol to an end. They made the walk back to their common room in unbearable silence and Draco felt that familiar sense of impending doom overcome him as they got closer and closer to the dungeons.

Their night was over, and they hadn't reconciled anything. He had been nice, even asked her about her friends whom he didn't care about. He was going to kill Blaise when he saw him. 'Be nice.' Like that had ever worked for anybody.

They arrived at the portrait hole when Pansy turned to look at him.

Draco stared at her. Was this it? Was she going to apologize for breaking up now? He waited, surprised at how hard it was to breathe.

"Well… I'll see you around." She said with a little smile before she turned and disappeared through the portrait hole.

Draco watched her leave, unable to move. Just like that, she was gone again. He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed a tuft full of it before he groaned loudly.

Excruciating.

Blaise was going to die tomorrow.

* * *

**Draco is starting to crack!**

**Unfortunately for him, this is only the beginning.**

**Hope you guys liked it. Working on chapter three right now, which opens up a bit more to other characters and situations. Plus, Quidditch soon!**

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**Cheers x**


	4. A Childish Idea

**Hello readers!**

**Another day, another chapter! I had started writing this last week and was trying to figure out how I could inform you guys when I'm working on a new chapter and when it might be available. Is there any kind of platform you guys would want me to join so you could stay up to date? Leave me a comment or PM me if there is!**

**Without further ado, here is a new chapter!**

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* * *

"You're the worst at giving advice," Draco glared as he stalked across the common room to the couches.

"You faked being nice, didn't you?" Blaise said without looking up from his book.

"That's what you told me to do!" He yelled before he collapsed down next to him.

"I believe what I specifically told you to do was to _not_ fake it."

"How can I not fake it? I don't give a bloody rat's arse about her friends or whatever mundane gossip they're all chattering about. How am I supposed to be interested in something like that?" Draco rambled on.

Blaise sighed loudly to ensure Draco knew how time-consuming and annoying he was being, before he placed a marker into his book and closed it. He laid the book on the table in front of him before he turned to give Draco his full attention, since he clearly wasn't going to go away without getting it first. "Have you ever thought that maybe you not being interested in literally anything about her is part of the reason why you guys broke up?"

Draco blinked at this. He had not entirely considered that. His shoulders slumped and he looked moodily at the fireplace beside them. "I don't know." He grumbled. "It's not going to work anyway. You should see the way she acts around me now. It's all like, "Malfoy who? Sorry, I don't know him."" He tossed up his hands and rolled his eyes for dramatic effect.

"Why don't you date someone else?" A voice asked.

Draco sat up and turned with Blaise to see who had addressed them. It was a young Slytherin girl sitting at a table behind them doing her homework.

"Are you eavesdropping?" Blaise raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, you're talking so loudly about your problems, I thought you were looking for the whole room's opinion." The girl fired back.

"How would me dating somebody else help anything?" Draco asked.

"Because if you date someone else, then she'll probably get jealous thinking that you've moved on so quickly. Then she'll be interested in you again." The girl said simply.

Draco looked at Blaise. "How come you didn't come up with something like that?"

"Because it's a _childish_," he cast a pointed look at the girl, "dumb idea that will only end up getting everyone involved hurt. Including Pansy."

"Maybe," Draco said, but the gears in his head had started to turn. Who could he start dating that would annoy Pansy the most?

"You're already thinking about it, aren't you?" Blaise asked. He sounded tired.

Draco nodded. He chewed on his bottom lip as he mentally cycled through his potential candidates.

"And there's nothing I can do to convince you not to do this?"

"Should it be a Gryffindor? I think it should be a Gryffindor. Maybe a Ravenclaw. Pansy's always hated how pretentious they are. Plus, if it was a Ravenclaw, we'd see each other more often, what with Pansy always hanging around Millicent and her boyfriend."

"Perfect," Blaise mumbled before he picked up his book and opened it back up to the page he had left off on. "Good luck with that."

"How do I make sure she sees us together though? We hardly cross paths as it is. She's been avoiding me like the plague, which I don't understand. I'm a delight to be around. And she always gets to classes before me, so it's not like she can see us in the hallways beforehand."

Blaise looked like he was trying incredibly hard to concentrate on the book in his hands and ignore the rambling blonde beside him.

"You could throw a party." The girl pipped in again.

Draco was on his feet in seconds. "A party." He mused out loud as he paced. "We could have it here. Pansy would never be able to resist a party that's happening right above her head." He turned to the girl, who had already gone back to doing her homework. "You're my new advice-giver."

The girl looked him up and down. "No thanks." She said curtly.

Draco sat back down next to Blaise. "Okay, you're back to being my advice-giver. You need to help me spread the word about a party."

Blaise's fingers gripped the cover of the book. "Fine." He said shortly. "Can I finish reading this now?"

Draco didn't answer him. He was already lost in his thoughts again.

* * *

The music was too loud, the drinks were too strong, and there were far too many people jammed into Slytherin's common room. It was perfect.

Draco squeezed his way through a tight-knit group of Hufflepuff students to get to the drinks table, where Blaise stood sipping on a glass of firewhiskey. "So?" Draco asked as he poured himself another shot of vodka. He had already discarded his sweater and he still felt sweaty and uncomfortable.

"It's… a lot." Blaise said. He eyed a group of Gryffindors suspiciously before he turned back to Draco. "Did you find Pansy yet?"

"Over by the fireplace," Draco grumbled over the rim of his drink. He tried to ignore her the best he could at the start of the night, which had lasted a whole five minutes before he found his eyes subconsciously looking for her. He couldn't help himself. He had never been to a party where Pansy hadn't been his plus one. To see her on the other side of the room, perched on an armrest with her cheeks red from the alcohol was torture. By this point in the night, she would've been leaning on him for support, whispering into his ear and kissing his cheek every five minutes.

"And your mystery date?" Blaise took a sip from his glass, but it wasn't enough to hide the humorous smirk on his face.

Draco sighed. When he had approached the Ravenclaw girl yesterday to ask her if she wanted to go to this party with him, she had seemed so normal. That was until she filled up on tequila. "Left her a few minutes ago in the toilets." He tipped back his shot and let it burn down his throat.

"You might want to relax on the shots Malfoy," Blaise eyed him carefully. "How many of those have you had?"

Draco waved him off. "I don't know. Eleven, maybe? What did I say about you giving me advice?"

Blaise shook his head incredulously. "I don't know man, one minute you want it and the next you don't. So, what's your master plan here?"

Draco's eyes wandered back over to Pansy and he was more than dismayed to see Marcus and Theodore Nott had made their way to sit next to her and Millicent on the couches. He watched with growing anger as Theo leaned in to whisper something into Pansy's ear. She covered her smile with her hand and ducked her head at whatever he had said. This made him even angrier. Out of all the people to flirt with her at this party, it had to be Theo.

"No time for a plan now," Blaise said. "She's coming. Abort." He disappeared into the crowd so quick, Draco was sure he'd apparated into thin air.

"More shots already?" Pansy pushed her way through the crowd and came to stand beside him at the drinks table. Her eyes were lit up with happiness and her smile stretched across her cheeks.

Draco set his empty glass down and shrugged. "I've only had a couple."

Pansy laughed easily. It felt nice to have her smile pointed at him again. "I've seen you blackout drunk, Draco, and you're well on your way to being it. Pour me one?"

Was that his heart pounding in his ears or the music? He didn't have time to think about it. He reached out and grabbed another shot glass before he filled them with vodka and handed one to her.

"Cheers," she smiled at him before she tipped her head back and downed it in one, big gulp. Draco couldn't help but laugh when she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head in disgust. "I hate those, I don't know why I keep taking them. It's like that time we went to – "

"There you are!"

Draco winced as a pair of arms encased him in an unbreakable hold. The Ravenclaw girl had found him again. He would've been more annoyed if he hadn't seen the flicker of shock that came across Pansy's face at the sight of this new girl hanging off of him. But, just like any good pureblood, she composed herself quickly.

"Who's this?" She didn't give him eye contact as she worked on picking out a bottle of Butterbeer.

Draco clumsily extracted himself from the girl's grip. "Oh, this? This is… uh – " Wait, what was her name again?

"I'm Katherine," The Ravenclaw girl smiled brightly at Pansy as she swayed on the spot. "I'm Draco's new girlfriend, oops!" She leaned into him so hard he nearly lost his footing and fell into the drinks table, but he was quick to right himself.

"I mean, we came together, yeah, but – "

"Congratulations." Pansy smiled at him. The gesture froze him in place. It was not a genuine smile. He could tell by the way she pressed her lips tight together and the tears in her eyes could've been mistaken for a drunken haze, but he knew her better than that. She was genuinely upset. "I'm happy for you two. Excuse me." She abandoned her newly opened bottle and forced her way back through the crowd.

Draco didn't understand the new feeling that had settled deep into his stomach. She was upset and he felt… _guilty_ about it.

"Who was she?" Katherine asked. Her tone had turned angry as she glared up at him.

"Do you even know who you are, right now?" He spat back at her. The alcohol had worn his patience paper-thin.

"I'm Kitty… Kitty-Kat… Kathereen." She slurred back to him. "And if this is going to work then – " Her eyes focused on something behind him and a smile erupted across her face. "LILLY!" She screamed into his ear before she took off again.

Glad to be rid of her, Draco stood on his tiptoes and tried to scan the room for Pansy. She wasn't with Millicent by the fireplace and she wasn't with Blaise by the staircase either. He started to panic. Where had she gone? Surely she wouldn't have retired to her dorm room so early? He had to find her. He stepped into the crowd and was surprised to notice how drunk he felt as he jostled his way through sweaty, drunken bodies. He swore under his breath as the crowd elbowed him left and right before he finally appeared on the other side.

"Pansy?" Was all he could get out when he came face to face with Blaise.

"No, I'm Blaise," Blaise said.

Draco shook his head violently. "Have you seen Pansy?" He asked again. His words slurred more than he thought they would. How many shots had he had again?

Blaise sighed. "Maybe you should just leave her alone tonight, Draco. She's drunk and upset and you're drunk and… _you_. I don't think it's a good time to - "

Draco grabbed Blaise by the front of his shirt and pulled him so close their noses nearly touched. "Stop. Giving me. Fucking advice. Or I'm going to break. Your goddamn arm. Where is she?"

Blaise pulled himself from Draco's grasp and straightened out his shirt with a glare before he waved a hand towards the portrait hole. "She left, Malfoy. She's gone."

With that piece of information, Draco turned on his heels and beelined for the portrait hole.

He found her on the second floor.

She sat on a banister and stared out the window at the Black Lake, with her legs tucked up underneath her. She looked so small. The moonlight reflected off the tears that streamed down her face and smudged her mascara. Draco hesitated at the end of the hallway once he had realized that it was her. He had never been great at consoling crying women, but he didn't have much of a choice in this case. He started towards her, careful to make as much noise as possible so as not to startle her.

He was almost next to her when she finally turned her eyes on him.

"What do you want?" She grumbled, looking away from him.

He ignored her. "What are you doing out here?" He asked dumbly. As though he were not the cause of all of this.

"I'm not really in a partying mood right now," she said. "So… new girlfriend, huh?"

"Not… exactly, no." Draco said awkwardly.

"She seemed to think she was," Pansy replied hotly.

"Well, it wouldn't matter anyway, cause we're broken up." He shrugged.

"So you date someone just a few days later? Real classy, Malfoy." Pansy barked back sarcastically.

_Malfoy_. She had never called him that before. Not when they were five and she had snipped off a chunk of her hair. Not when they were seven and he had stolen her birthday cake from her party because he was jealous of all the attention she was getting (she ended up finding him with it in the backyard and instead of yelling or being upset, she had merely sat down next to him and procured two forks from her knife for them to devour the cake by themselves). Not once in their entire lives had she ever reduced to calling him Malfoy. Draco glared down at her. He didn't understand why that hurt him so much. "What do you care anyway? You're the one that ended it with me, remember?"

"At least I haven't immediately jumped into bed with somebody else. There are rules for this kind of thing, you know? We were together for a long time and then you just start dating someone else? You're supposed to wait a little bit, _heal_ from the emotional burden of losing someone!"

"I haven't jumped into bed with anybody, we aren't even dating!" Draco yelled impatiently.

"Then why does she think she's your girlfriend?"

Draco could feel the lie he had created closing in on him. If he wasn't so drunk, he'd probably be able to handle this situation better. But as it was, he could hardly see straight, and all he wanted was for this to be over so that he could kiss her. "I mean, we started dating but we haven't really been official or anything. This is our first time hanging out together, or talking at all I guess, and – "

Pansy slowly stood to her feet. The movement caught him off guard as she held up her hands; effectively silencing him. She had stopped crying and now she looked furious. "Wait. Wait. _Wait_. Let me get this straight. You either just started dating someone only a few days after we broke up and now you're lying about it which would make you the rudest guy I've ever met in my entire life, or you've started to pretend-date some poor, clueless girl just to make me jealous and now you're lying about that which is so incredibly pathetic I could cry, so like, which one of those are you, Draco? Are you rude or are you pathetic?"

Draco stared at her, completely dumbfounded. How had the tables turned on him like this so fast? Was the hallway spinning or was that just in his head? "I… I don't… is there a secret, third option you can lump me in?"

She stared at him before she started to shake her head in disbelief. "I think it'd be best if we didn't talk for a while."

Draco stepped in front of her before she could walk away from him. "Why?" He couldn't let her walk away again.

"Because I am so tired of you and all your stupid games!" Pansy yelled. Her hands were curled into fists by her sides. "It's always something. Nothing you say is ever genuine, you're always using somebody, and you don't care about anyone but yourself. Not even me."

"That's not true," Draco said. This was familiar; their fighting, and he clung to it. "I care about you."

Pansy snorted and rolled her eyes. "No, Draco, you don't. You think you do, but you don't. You only care about the fact that you feel lonely. What about what I feel?"

"You seem pretty fine to me, laughing with Millicent and completely ignoring me."

"Because you need to be ignored! You're like this incessant leech that latches onto anything stupid enough to care about you and then you suck the life out of it and toss it aside when you're done! I'm not going to be tossed aside after graduation like some used napkin."

Draco blinked at her. "Why do you think – "

She sighed loudly. "A few weeks ago, after Theo's party, I was taking care of you in the bathroom. You were completely messed up, hunkered over the toilet. You said…" she paused. Tears had gathered in her eyes again.

He stepped closer to her. "What? I don't remember anything about that night."

"You said you were really going to miss me after graduation. I told you I would still be there but… you wouldn't listen. You just kept saying after we graduate, you'll never see me again." Pansy glared at him through her tears. "I got the message pretty clear."

Draco sputtered. "What message? I don't even remember saying that! I was completely out of my mind!"

"Oh just save it Malfoy – "

"Stop calling me that!"

"What? It's your name – "

"No, it's not! You never call me that and I don't like it so stop."

She glared up at him and stepped closer to him. They were so close Draco could smell the alcohol on her breath. Or maybe it was his own? "What are you going to do about it, _Malfoy_?"

He glared down at her. His body felt hot and the hallway behind her was spinning so fast it was making him nauseous. He wanted to yell at her to leave him alone, and then grab her and kiss her. He wanted to remind her of all they had been through together, while at the same time tell her he didn't need her. It was too much. He couldn't think straight.

And that was the last thing he remembered.

* * *

When he regained consciousness, the sunlight streaming through the window was enough to burn his retinas. He groaned against the massive headache blooming in the front of his skull.

"You're awake." Blaise.

With as much effort as he could muster, Draco pulled himself up onto his elbows and squinted at the end of the bed. Blaise lounged at the bottom, reading a book and clearly waiting for him to wake up. "What happened?" He winced at the struggle it took to speak.

Blaise slammed his book closed. The noise was enough to send Draco's head spinning. "A lot. Drink this." He procured a potion from his pocket, which he passed over to Draco, who eagerly took it. Blaise watched him closely as he gulped down the hangover cure. "What were you thinking?"

"When?" Draco mumbled as he rubbed at his head.

"Last night. Ever. What are you _ever_ thinking?" Blaise's tone was serious.

Draco shifted uncomfortably. "What happened?"

Blaise sighed and tossed his book onto his own bed before he sat up. "Pansy brought you to me after the party was over."

Draco felt his stomach clench. "What ha… was she… mad?"

Blaise eyed him closely. "No, Draco. She was sad. Really sad."

Draco grimaced. That was worse.

"Why did you have to go looking for her? Why couldn't you have just left her alone, like I said? Why can't you ever listen to somebody else?"

Draco shook his head. "I… I don't… know." He mumbled. His mouth felt dry and gross and he wanted nothing more than to take a shower. He had never felt so low. "Is she… okay?"

"I don't know," Blaise said truthfully. "She passed you over to me; told me she needed some time alone and to ask you to not talk to her. She needs some space."

Draco fell back down onto his stomach and pushed his face further into his pillows to block out the world. He had royally screwed up and he knew it.

"What are you going to do?" Blaise asked.

Draco stared at the wall. What was he going to do? He couldn't go and talk to her, because clearly she didn't want him to. So what was he going to do? What was he supposed to do without her? How was he supposed to survive the last few months of school without her? And when was he allowed to talk to her again? "I don't know…" He grumbled into his pillow.

Blaise rested a hand on his bare shoulder before he stood and headed out of the room, probably for breakfast. As much as Draco's stomach churned and begged for food, he didn't think he had the energy to get up. Instead, he buried himself deeper into his pillows and pulled his blanket over his head, determined to block out the world… and force himself to leave Pansy alone.

* * *

**Now that we're really getting into it, I can't wait to add more elements and subplots to this story (I've got A LOT planned!)**

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